To Protect and Serve
by MrsGaryOldman
Summary: With every decision he makes, Gotham's new Commissioner learns there's always going to be a winner and a loser....
1. Chapter 1

_**Author's Note;** I dedicate this fic to Phoebe2 since she's done such a fine job with her Gordon/Barbara fics :-) This is set post-TDK and I've posted a relatively short chapter to start. Cuddles to all who stop by xxx_

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**Chapter One**

Jim Gordon briskly made his way up the steps of the Gotham City Police Station, ignoring the pursuing entourage of cameras and reporters behind him. Their unfounded speculations and questions were the least of his concerns as he and his men stepped inside.

"Send out a memo; 'nobody talk to the press'!" Lieutenant Stephens called to the front desk as they walked by. The newly appointed Commissioner didn't concern himself and his Police Department with Gotham's media as the late Gillian Loeb had. "Don't worry Sir, they'll have left by evening..." Stevens assured, trying to keep up with his superior's speedy pace.

"Yeah, just in time to have the reports up for the 6 o'clock news!" Gordon replied, obviously still sickened with their wasted morning. It was the third wild goose-chase since Sunday. This new mob boss made both his predecessors, Falcone and Maroni, look like boy scouts! His approach was perhaps best described as 'Batman' inspired.

"I want units down on 8th all day," Jim announced, turning to the loyal crew behind him, "and I want squads on the school for the rest of the week."

Diligently disbanding with a 'Yes Sir', the officers immediately set off in carrying out the order.

"I dunno Boss," Stephens said discreetly, pushing the button to open the elevator, "This 'Penguin' guy.....I think we need to start fightin' fire with fire here..."

"I'm going to my Office right now and checking every lead," Gordon offered, "The paperwork is there waiting for me."

His colleague lowered his voice before, "You're not expecting anyone when you get there, are you?"

Jim's response was to look to him out over this trademark glasses with a confused gaze.

"Pointy ears, black cape....," Stephens continued, widening his eyes and raising his brows, "Sleeps upside down!"

"Gerry, I don't......"

"C'mon Jimmy, don't try and tell me he doesn't still call by your window for a midnight meeting..."

Stepping inside the elevator, Gordon dismissed his friend's theory, "Sure he does – but it's only for a nightcap after all his running away....and general gossiping about his life in exile," the Commissioner smirked, finding the button for the top floor. Stephens definitely wasn't wrong, but given the exposed corruption in his force even after Harvey Dent's Internal Affairs examinations, Gordon was adamant to play everything close to his chest.

"I'm tellin' ya now Jimmy, we're all behind ya down here," Stephens pledged, following his boss down the corridor, "Just say the word and we'll have that signal back up there..._give him a badge for Christ's sakes, _anything to get him back!"_  
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Acknowledging the passing officers, Gordon lowered his voice, "Personally I don't see him trading in for our uniform!"

"You gotta get him back boss, this 'Penguin' wacko won't be the last! He's only gon...."

"He's not the first either," Gordon reminded, stopping at his secretary's desk. "I'm dealing with it, okay!?" In order to silence his most trusted aide, he did want to cave and tell him that 'dealing with it' _did_ involve Batman....but he decided to honour his and Batman's 'on a need-to-know basis' partnership and say nothing.

So he_ is _in your office!?" Stephens replied excitedly, beyond caring for discretion. He knew Jimmy G too well. "I knew it!"

Remaining loyal to the caped crusader in spite of Stevens' partially accurate intuition, Gordon rolled his eyes, "He's nocturnal Gerry, remember..."

"Fine, when you see him tonight, you tell him I'll do his laundry for a month if it'll get him back!"

The amused Commissioner simply diverted his attention to his ever-efficient secretary. "Good afternoon Celia, what have you got in store for me for the rest of the day?" he politely greeted.

The young brunette placed his brimming appointment folder on the counter-top. "Your next meeting is at 2 o' clock, Dr. Quinzel is calling down with her latest evaluations in Arkham. You've got the PTA at 3.15 and a conference with the new recruits at 4. Mr. Fox from 'Wayne Enterprises' has yet to confirm his 5.30, and here's your list of callbacks...," she offered the busy sheet, fluttering her lashes, "The Mayor wants you to get back to him as soon as possible."

"That'll be next week then..." Gordon wryly said to himself as he studied the list. "I'm gonna get some paperwork done until Dr. Quinzel arrives, so I'll let the calls keep coming to you," he decided, offering Celia a thankful nod. Edging towards his office door, he turned to Stephens with a subtle smile. "So now you know why our meetings are at midnight!

"Oh Sir, I also forgot," Celia suddenly exclaimed, spinning in her revolving chair, "You had a 1 o'clock lunch with your wife in 'The Marian' today...."

The colour left Gordon's gaunt cheeks as his face fell. Amid all the earlier excitement, he'd completely forgot. "Did she call?" he asked, pulling his cell out of his jacket pocket. There were no messages.

"No," was all the secretary could reply before Jim released a relieved sigh. Maybe she'd caught his busy morning on the midday bulletin and figured he wouldn't have been able to make it. "...but she's in your office," Celia then finished.

Gordon swallowed hard.

It was now Stevens turn to wear a simpered smirk. "Bet you wish it was the Bat in there now, huh?" he winked, backing away and leaving his now sombre boss to face interrogation.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Author's Note;**__ Thank you SO much to my darling reviewers!! You've encouraged me to get working!! LOL!! Cuddles to all who stop by xxx_

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**Chapter 2**

"Barbara, I'm sorry," he immediately began, hastily closing the door behind him and walking across the space.

She didn't say anything at first. She simply stood, keeping her arms folded whilst avoiding looking at him.

"I got held up, I had to be there....we were downtown after getting word that the mob had set up shop in one of Gotham High's old sheds, so we had to search the school and the grounds, but it turned ou....."

"Jim," she then interrupted, somewhat quietly. "Its fine, I know."

"You do?"

"Yes," she nodded slightly, "Celia told me that you were busy when I came down here. She said something happened in the school and you were out taking care of it."

Appreciating her understanding, he dropped his files on the desk, "Yeah, we got a supposed leak this morning and we were out until now," he informed, unsure of where to place himself. He'd expected her to feel the wrath of her red-headed temper and have another argument about his 'questionable priorities', but he hadn't expected her to stand before him like this.... She was actually more upset than angry. Despite all she'd been through the past while, she managed to stay strong for the children's sake....they'd been shaken up too. But even when she did break down in his arms, Jim had never seen his wife so fragile as she was standing here before him. "I thought maybe you might have caught it on the news," he continued again, trying for an answer.

She shook her bowed head. "No, I was cleaning out upstairs for the garage sale before I came in to town."

Another pause. Jim bit his thin lip and lifted a hand to the back of his stiff neck. "Honey, is there something you want to tell me? Are the kids okay?" he suddenly guessed, panicking at the thoughts.

"No, no," she replied, shaking her head vigorously this time. "They're fine."

"Well then please tell me what's the matter Barb, you're about to give me a heart attack!" he exclaimed. It should have been obvious why she was so off, he'd stood her up yet again. "I wouldn't blame you if you were mad at me...," he said, moving closer to her, "I know, I should have called. I should have told you I wasn't able to make it."

Barbara finally lifted her head and met him. She'd been crying. "No, I should have known better."

"Honey, what are you talking about?" he asked, somewhat stirred by her swollen red eyes.

"I should have known you weren't going to be there," she shrugged, still not getting particularly angry. "You'd think after seventeen years of marriage that I'd have learned."

Here we go. "Barbara, please....," he began to reason, keeping his voice soft in response to her emotional state, "The only thing you could learn is that I'm a cop and I have to work long hours, I do the best I ca...."

"No Jim, you don't _have_ to work long hours," she corrected.

There was no way they were starting up this routine yet again! He sighed before replying, having a brief moment to remain composed. "Well, it's not because I _want_ to. I didn't miss lunch on purpose...."

"This isn't about lunch," Barbara affirmed, beginning to fidget with the neat pearl necklace cradling around her neck. It had belonged to his mother.

"Honey, talk to me..." he encouraged, "_tell me_ what this is about."

Barbara released a held breath from rouged lips. She was momentarily silent, wondering how she could best put it. The words had been played through her mind for so long, but she couldn't have comprehended just how difficult this was.

"The timing is horrible, I know," she finally began, shutting her eyes. "But I guess the only place I get to see you is here, and I want this to be away from the kids..."

Jim furrowed his brow, "What away from the kids?"

"We've tried Jim...._I've_ tried, and I've been putting this conversation off and putting it off, but I can't...." she paused, trying her best to talk with her quivering voice. "I can't do this anymore Jim. We can't....we can't keep living the way we've been living...."

"This 'Penguin' hunt has been exhausting, I know," he agreed, slicing a hand across the air, "But it'll be over soon honey, we nearly have him," he promised, his blue eyes widening in confidence.

Barbara began to take some aimless steps. Her husband was a man of his word when it came to his job, and she believed him. He would make sure that he did catch 'The Penguin'. "But then there'll be someone else!" she said, telling his something he already knew. "This won't all go away Jim, you've seen what's happened this past year....," she paused, alluding to the horrors with The Joker and Harvey Dent. "You'll be after someone even worse next time. It's not going the other way Jim, it's expanding."

Before he could muster an answer using his argument of 'Batman', she finished.

"I think we need to separate for a while."

His throat went dry. _"Separate?"_ he repeated coarsely, wincing in utter disbelief. Given all their marital problems and counselling, their fights about moving back to Chicago and even when she took the kids and stayed over at her sisters on occasion, she'd never once threatened to break up. "Barbara, this isn't the first lunch I've missed, but I don...."

"_This isn't about you missing lunch!_" she bit in desperation, wishing he'd understand. "It's about everything you've missed.....and today, with a scare in a school.....what if it was Jimmy and Babs' school, huh?"

He'd already thought of that. It was the first question on his mind when the calls came in earlier.

"I'm losing myself Jim," she continued, "If I don't get some normality to sort myself out...."

"Barbara..." he walked forward, placing his hands on her arms, "Barbara, don't do this....I've seen couples separate, they don't work it out, they...they just grow further apart."

"I don't know any other way...," she choked, a fresh veil of glassy tears forming over her olive eyes, "Please don't make this harder than it already is Jim, it's taken everything I have left to do this!"

"Barbara, I love you," he whispered, his voice failing with the lump that was forming in this throat.

"And I love you, but that's not what this is about."

"Then what's it about?"

"It's about not having a _life._ We live in a fishbowl," she explained, breaking his physical contact, "and maybe you can deal with that, but I can't, and neither can the kids. We can't keep living in this fear."

Jim's brows fell at her revelation. He didn't answer right away. Placing his hands in his pockets, he slowly paced a path to behind his desk, trying to register the past few moments.

He had to admit she made a somewhat valid point. Despite his efforts in making Gotham a safe place for his wife and two young kids, it still wasn't. Even after a year since his family were held at gun point by the city's once adored District Attorney, they were still limited as to when and where they could go....and what if it was Jimmy and Babs' school today!? As the Commissioner's family, they were always going to be a liability. There were only so many times he could fake his death or hope Batman would save the day before something might....

Stopping at the huge window and briefly scanning the city, he turned to meet her again. Unable to speak at first, he gave a gentle nod. "I'll call by tomorrow when the kids are at school and pick up my things..."

"I didn't come here to push you out the door, I'm not talking to a lawyer....," she struggled, now moving closer to him. "I just need to find my centre while I still have one." She truly didn't want to hurt him, but she felt this was for the good of the whole family, her husband included.

Doing his best to appear strong and support her decision, he just about managed to force a smile under his salt-and-peppery brown 'tashe. "Okay, then you do..."

"Yes, I do....._I do_," she trailed off, suddenly turning for the door. Amid the tears that now flowed down her cheeks as she finally broke down, she turned for a last look back before walking through the opened door, "I'm sorry."

Fighting every urge to stop her, hold her, kiss her, apologise in a desperate bid to keep her, he let her go. After causing and denying them so much, he had to prove he put them first.

Only fit to stand silent in his office after her departure, he lifted a hand to slide under his glasses and pinch the bridge of his nose, catching the stinging tears that were fighting to fall.

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End file.
